Just like happiness and sadness, anger is a normal emotion we all have experienced at some point in our life. Anger can be directed both outwards and inwards from being angry at other person for something he or she did wrong, or anger on the political leaders of our country to anger on ourselves for not being able to perform better or meet our own expectations. Getting angry on these situations once in a blue moon is quite normal, but getting angry on every minute hiccup, every day is called anger issues.
There are some very clear signs that one can put finger on if he or she is suffering from anger issues. The primary place to look for these signs is with your closed ones, people with whom you interact on a daily basis as some people are very good in hiding their anger issues when in community and most of their anger is witnessed by their spouses and immediate family members as they are the one in front of whom you feel safe and closest to, you know they won’t leave you and hence they are the ones who has to bear with your fits of anger. But with some of them it becomes such a big problem, that they are unable to control their impulse of anger in front of strangers and public, and they end up shouting and screaming on anyone and everyone. Regular anger can cause difficulties with relationships, families and job.
Let’s talk about specific signs which may help you realise if you or your loved one is suffering from anger issues:
- Name calling: Have you ever noticed that name calling comes very easy to you. Even if you don’t enjoy it, it’s an impulse which you cant control. You forget everything at that moment, whether you are with your elders, standing in a party or other public space, but abuses keep falling out of your mouth very freely. And when anger comes down, you realise what you did and feel embarrassed about your action. Anger is normal but completely loosing your mind is not okay.
- Lack of patience: Do you feel too frustrated and irritated if you have to stand in a cue for your turn, or the waiter is taking longer than usual to bring your order on your table, or your junior is taking longer than your expectation to finish his work. Lack of patience is a crucial sign of having anger issues.
- Blaming everyone and everything else: if you find yourself blaming others and the situations quite often, for everything which is not going your way, and everyone else seems to be very irritating to you, you might be suffering from age issues. When anything bad happens or something goes wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault as its easier to put things on others rather than take responsibility of your own situations. Anger is less of what happens to you, rather its a problem of perception and interpretation.
- People are uncomfortable around you: have you noticed people walking on eggshells around you, or they are not very comfortable cracking jokes with you, or even to carry out a normal conversation with you, they seem to be avoiding you at social gatherings, then you might be having some anger issues which you need to discuss with a professional right away. (please search best anger management counselling in Kolkata, right now)
- Small things can lead to aggression: does breaking stuffs, road rages and punching walls comes very easily to you. If you get to this level of violence very often and most importantly on pity trivial things then you most certainly has anger issues. One must seek help by a professional before aggressive anger can result in physical damage to both people and property. Recognizing the triggers and learning healthy coping strategies will help you manage your anger in a more positive way.
- Passive anger: as mentioned before anger can be both directed inwards and outwards. In the same way it is not necessary anger is always aggressive or active. There is something called passive anger. It is not loud or violent, but the anger comes out in a more silent way, and in most cases people don’t even realise that they are suffering from this kind of anger. Some of the signs that may help you realise are if you notice you are too sarcastic about things, or respond to most of the things in sarcasm and meanness. Also you might be avoiding people or skipping school and workplace. Unintentionally if you are performing bad in your assignments and projects without being able to explain the reason, then you might be having passive anger issues.
If some or most of the symptoms mentioned above seems very familiar to you, then its time to seek help from a professional. Search for best anger management therapy in Kolkata (or whichever part of the world you belong to) before putting yourself pr others in danger. There is no shame or weakness in it. The sooner the process starts the sooner you and your loved ones will start feeling better.
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